Age 16 the day I shocked everybody I know
It all started when I was outside in the backyard and my dad came home. He was just finishing feeding the animals when he said “Landon when your done watering the horses then come in the house we need to talk”. I was in my mind I hope its not about what I’ve been doing lately, but when I went in my dad told me to take a seat on the couch.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
I think that you could have added more. It is a good start, but make sure that you add what is going on.
Dani
I really think thats a great way to start your intro. i want to know whats going to happen. maybe start out with something like i wonder whats really going to happen. whats going through my mind.
Tayler
This is an awesome hook. I really want to hear more. Great job.
~Rachel
Ooh dang dude I want to know what happened. Good hook bro.
alex
Wow that was really good it makes me wonder whats coming next and what you had been doing. I don't even think I have any constructive critisism to give you. that was really amazing.
-Aubrianna (1)
DUDE THIS IS CATCHY. BUT YOU DONT LOOK LIKE NO HILLBILLY. but ya its sounds like a pretty tight story.
This is a really good start. Although you probably could have added a little bit more. But it makes me want to read the rest of it. Exciting. ha ha.
Kelsee 4th
I want to know what happens next! really great job on hooking people.
Keep it up dude
Nick P (1)
Post a Comment